Excuses 1-20
1) Who? No, I'm not him. I'm the neighbor.
2) You have me mixed up with some other guy with the same name.
3) The magazine you submitted the article we hired you to write should pay you. We shouldn't have to.
4) I didn't get the notice in time.
5) I asked a debtor if he was employed and he said "no". I asked him how he was paying his bills-to which he replied "I do not have any bills" - like what do you think that this is?
6) The fed's took it as a prime clue to a murder.
7) What? Who do you want? I'm just the babysitter...
8) As it pertains to the damage existing on an automobile after the lease expires and the vehicle condition report is completed. "I live in New York. Dents to the bumpers and scratches on the sides of my vehicle are "Normal Wear and Tear".
9) As it pertains to the deficiency of an automobile lease after repossession. "I was only renting the car. You people must be crazy"!
10) Bills?? Kids must have stolen it from the mailbox. We lose a lot of bills that way.
11) Who? You have the wrong number.
12) My wife is in the loony bin, I have no money, and no one will buy my boat, that I own with two other people, and even if I sell the boat my third is only $100 which is only 1/10 of what I owe!!!
13) It wasn't my fault! Honest. I ran out of gas! I had a flat tire! I didn't have enough money for cab fare! My tux didn't come back from the cleaners! An old friend came in from out of town! Someone Stole my car! There was an earthquake! A terrible flood! Locusts! IT WASN'T MY FAULT I SWEAR TO GOD!!!!!
14) I'm on a fixed income, just charged $10,000 on my credit card and bought a new car...can't understand why I can't pay my bills.
15) Uh.... was that a "BILL"? :-)
16) I don't pay my bills to collection agencies...I'm afraid that the high school dropouts, unwed crack mothers, and unfulfilled housewives which they employ will forget how to use a computer and delete me from existence. Besides, I NEVER answer the phone when the caller I.D. says "UNAVAILABLE".
17) The bill didn't come on time.
18) I skipped a couple of doses of my Prozac.
19) I can't be overdrawn, I still have checks left.
20) I had a debtor tell me she was not liable for the bill because she was under bankruptcy and was not mentally competent to sign any legal documents. I wonder how she incurred the debts!
